This week’s principle covered in the purposeful living program is a guide on dealing with the obstacles that arise when setting your goals.
We turn again to our favourite life-coach, Bianca Van Wyk, for the third week of our 12 week purposeful living program, where we look at considerations, fears and roadblocks. With a few techniques on how to break down our fears and roadblocks, we have a better chance of reaching our goals. Below is Bianca’s third purposeful living YouTube video on dealing with obstacles.
One of the difficult parts of setting goals is the barriers that stand in the way of progress. But identifying the obstacles to purposeful living can help you overcome these barriers and keep you on track.
“It’s important to understand that, as soon as you set a goal, three things are going to emerge that stop most people,” Bianca tells us. “but they won’t stop you, because we know that they’re going to emerge. Because you know that these things are part of the process you can treat them as they are things to handle, rather than letting them stop you.”
Considerations are, effectively, all the reasons why you shouldn’t even attempt a goal. They’re the things that we think about that would make our goals unattainable. And it’s important to understand these considerations deal with them, understand them and move past them from the get-go in order to avoid it manifesting subconsciously.
“Considerations,” Bianca says, “are thoughts that you have to deal with. They’re very subtle, but they’re also the reason why we stop [pursuing our goals].
“If you want to run a marathon, for instance, there might be a voice in your head that says you could get hurt or you’re going to have to get up two hours earlier every day. And it might even suggest that you’re too old to start running.”
“Fears, on the other hand, are about feelings,” she says. “You may experience a fear of rejection, failure, or a fear of making a fool of yourself. You might be afraid of getting physically or emotionally hurt and you might fear that you’ll lose all the money you’ve already saved.
“These feelings aren’t unusual. They’re just part of the process.”
Bianca also says that the fear obstacle to purposeful living is not necessarily about something that manifests in the real world (False Evidence Appearing Real). It’s not something you have experienced. It just stops you in your path so that you don’t go forward.
Roadblocks are things that are out of your control. This will be common when it comes to starting businesses, for example, where you lack capital or labour and are unable to attract investors or employees.
“These are purely external circumstances well beyond thoughts and feelings in your head. But there is always something to do about roadblocks. And, once you know what they are, it’s easier to go forward.”
The first strategy that Bianca draws our attention is the “five why’s” technique for overcoming fear
“You go through a process of problem solving,” Bianca explains. “You ask yourself why and eventually you remove the fear by convincing yourself that it’s not so great an obstacle to overcome.”
The “what if” game helps to deal with fears, roadblocks and considerations. Bianca wraps up the lesson with this and leaves us, once again, with some homework to do to help us apply these methods of dealing with obstacles.
“We are continuously blocked from going forward because we’re afraid of failing,” she says. “And we just stop.
“So the whole idea about all of these things, roadblocks, considerations and fears is that you need to write them down so that they’re not intimidating – so that they don’t take up mind-space anymore. Once you put them in front of you, they are less of a distraction and it’s more likely that you’ll carry on with what you want to do.”